Monday, 10 January 2011

Chuck Norris.

  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norrises computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
  • Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
  • Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
on 18:50

34 comments:

  1. pMonday, 10 January, 2011

    ahahah
    Anyways, cool blog, I'll follow!

    ReplyDelete
  2. BTN Hip HopMonday, 10 January, 2011

    classic chuck norris jokes, always fun.
    nice blog btw. you just gained a new follower

    ReplyDelete
  3. Choms1337Monday, 10 January, 2011

    hahaha :D very nice post and blog :D I want to write about chuck norris but you are faster :P sorry Chuck Norris .. :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. HorussMonday, 10 January, 2011

    somehow never gets old

    ReplyDelete
  5. RawrMonday, 10 January, 2011

    cool post, :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. TeutorixMonday, 10 January, 2011

    Chuck Norris jokes always lightened my day up!

    ReplyDelete
  7. SamMonday, 10 January, 2011

    Chuck Norris bites frost

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mot BuchananMonday, 10 January, 2011

    Man! I used to love the Chuck Norris Facts!

    I haven't thought about them in years.

    ~Showing some support to my fellow bloggers.

    ReplyDelete
  9. whatshouldibuytodayMonday, 10 January, 2011

    Chuck Norris jokes are getting old

    ReplyDelete
  10. Suciô SanchezMonday, 10 January, 2011

    I saw the other day that he was a pall-bearer at Bruce Lee's funeral.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Monster MadnessMonday, 10 January, 2011

    These are pretty fun, but might mr Norris just be a tiny bit overrated? no?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Domino MasterMonday, 10 January, 2011

    chuch norris :O i better go xD

    ReplyDelete
  13. poelanotexTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    chuck the man

    ReplyDelete
  14. IsaacTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    LOL I used to love these funny blog following you

    ReplyDelete
  15. not2bnamedTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    lol chuck norris

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mister SharafTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    chuck is chuck :D

    ReplyDelete
  17. Major MackTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    chucks go waldo on his hit list eh

    ReplyDelete
  18. JayPowerTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    Man im in stiches! hillarious! i love the norris ;D

    ReplyDelete
  19. MikeyBTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    ahhhh chuck norris. always classic

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    I use to say chuck norris jokes all the time in high school! They are awesome to pass time haha

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mr. InsaniumTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    Thankyou, chuck norris is the legend!

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Angry LurkerTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    Chuck Norris is the man, very funny.

    ReplyDelete
  23. ThemanwiththegoldeneyeballTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    I'd go gay for Chuck.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Solsby KidTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    Haha so true, chuck norris ftw!

    ReplyDelete
  25. fyryNyTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    rotfl I want more! :D

    ReplyDelete
  26. WeshTuesday, 11 January, 2011

    hehe, and yet again one or two jokes I haven't heard before!

    following you now!

    http://kind-of-informational.blogspot.com/
    if you feel like giving my blog a click :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. LexsaWednesday, 12 January, 2011

    So, on your patence evermore attending, Following!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Telia TuliWednesday, 12 January, 2011

    Heh.
    There used to be a chuck blog up that had all kinds of stuff but i don't know where it went to.

    ReplyDelete
  29. AndrewWednesday, 12 January, 2011

    sooo funny:)

    ReplyDelete
  30. AlexanderWednesday, 12 January, 2011

    awesome man very funny. Return the favor!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Golden EraWednesday, 12 January, 2011

    Chuck is a ledgend, love seeing reruns of his show now and then

    ReplyDelete
  32. DesignAndLaughWednesday, 12 January, 2011

    Boy this takes me back to high school. Thanks for the semi-nostalgia!

    ReplyDelete
  33. i_love_weedSaturday, 15 January, 2011

    knew all of em but 2

    ReplyDelete
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