Monday, 10 January 2011

Chuck Norris.

  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norrises computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
  • Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
  • Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.


  1. ahahah
    Anyways, cool blog, I'll follow!

  2. classic chuck norris jokes, always fun.
    nice blog btw. you just gained a new follower

  3. hahaha :D very nice post and blog :D I want to write about chuck norris but you are faster :P sorry Chuck Norris .. :D

  4. Chuck Norris jokes always lightened my day up!

  5. Man! I used to love the Chuck Norris Facts!

    I haven't thought about them in years.

    ~Showing some support to my fellow bloggers.

  6. I saw the other day that he was a pall-bearer at Bruce Lee's funeral.

  7. These are pretty fun, but might mr Norris just be a tiny bit overrated? no?

  8. LOL I used to love these funny blog following you

  9. chucks go waldo on his hit list eh

  10. Man im in stiches! hillarious! i love the norris ;D

  11. ahhhh chuck norris. always classic

  12. I use to say chuck norris jokes all the time in high school! They are awesome to pass time haha

  13. good ol' chuck, still kicking ass and taking names.

  14. Thankyou, chuck norris is the legend!

  15. Chuck Norris is the man, very funny.

  16. Haha so true, chuck norris ftw!

  17. hehe, and yet again one or two jokes I haven't heard before!

    following you now!
    if you feel like giving my blog a click :)

  18. So, on your patence evermore attending, Following!

  19. Heh.
    There used to be a chuck blog up that had all kinds of stuff but i don't know where it went to.

  20. awesome man very funny. Return the favor!

  21. Chuck is a ledgend, love seeing reruns of his show now and then

  22. Boy this takes me back to high school. Thanks for the semi-nostalgia!

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