Monday, 10 January 2011

Chuck Norris.

  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norrises computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
  • Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
  • Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

35 comments:

  1. ahahah
    Anyways, cool blog, I'll follow!

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  2. classic chuck norris jokes, always fun.
    nice blog btw. you just gained a new follower

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  3. hahaha :D very nice post and blog :D I want to write about chuck norris but you are faster :P sorry Chuck Norris .. :D

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  4. Chuck Norris jokes always lightened my day up!

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  5. Man! I used to love the Chuck Norris Facts!

    I haven't thought about them in years.

    ~Showing some support to my fellow bloggers.

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  6. I saw the other day that he was a pall-bearer at Bruce Lee's funeral.

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  7. These are pretty fun, but might mr Norris just be a tiny bit overrated? no?

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  8. LOL I used to love these funny blog following you

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  9. chucks go waldo on his hit list eh

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  10. Man im in stiches! hillarious! i love the norris ;D

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  11. ahhhh chuck norris. always classic

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  12. I use to say chuck norris jokes all the time in high school! They are awesome to pass time haha

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  13. good ol' chuck, still kicking ass and taking names.

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  14. Thankyou, chuck norris is the legend!

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  15. Chuck Norris is the man, very funny.

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  16. Haha so true, chuck norris ftw!

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  17. hehe, and yet again one or two jokes I haven't heard before!

    following you now!

    http://kind-of-informational.blogspot.com/
    if you feel like giving my blog a click :)

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  18. So, on your patence evermore attending, Following!

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  19. Heh.
    There used to be a chuck blog up that had all kinds of stuff but i don't know where it went to.

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  20. awesome man very funny. Return the favor!

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  21. Chuck is a ledgend, love seeing reruns of his show now and then

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  22. Boy this takes me back to high school. Thanks for the semi-nostalgia!

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